Dreams

I dreams of my Mom last night. I'm not even sure what the dreams were about, but she was quite alive in all of them. It is doubly cruel to wake up in the morning and realize that she is gone when she has been so alive in my dreams. I feel like I am bad for not calling her, then I remember, and it hits me all over again. Will I ever understand how someone so vital and alive can be here one day and gone by the next morning? I feel so alone now. I miss her, and just saying that seems so vague and pale a comment. I feel ripped and damaged. Like a huge part of me is gone now as well. Like a vacuum exists at my very core. This is such an earth shaking event in my life I at a loss for word.